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The FallYou took what I thought was
the crisp, ripe peach of our friendship
and tore it apart with savage teeth.
I wonder what it tasted like
at the time, if you rejoiced
in ripping me to pieces
as I stood at a complete loss
for how to help you, how to get
through to you, and what I did
to deserve such hostility.
I hear you tried to apologize.
Tearfully, in fact, trying to get me
to answer the phone, all day.
That doesn’t sound like you at all
but if it’s true, I didn’t receive the calls or texts
because I blocked your number.
After much thought for a course
of action, I found my heart
was too tired of that particular strain,
the one where I give you my all
as a friend and you just look at me
as something to put up with, even if
you say you love me.
I guess this past spring
wasn’t the season for peaches,
because they all grew hard and stiff
and before I knew it I found myself
biting into stone.
Summer Night SongHalf past midnight I draw up the blinds
and open the window to a playful wind,
cool and inviting.
The sound of it crashing through the trees
like ocean waves on the tide
is the lullaby that lulls me to sleep.
The busy rustling of rabbits
and calm burn of jasmine incense
lets me know that all will heal
and give way to morning.
Southern UtahAs a child I was sewn from sparse trickles
of dry riverbeds, sandstone sediments, and deep
soul searing heat.
And I find to this day I’m a product of rust red sand
that burns my blood, skin, and the soles
of my feet.
My native land, ravaged with desert thunder
and flash floods, is a fragrant valley of memories
old and fresh.
If one has never felt the heart-skittered feeling
of love, they need to spend some time
in southern Utah.
Lightthrough your lighthearted humor
and rich, charismatic laugh
I am drawn to laugh with you
and made happy.
because of your damn good taste
in music, I have songs that pulse
with power and make me dance
away my pain.
through your deep, magnetic voice
with a flow like liquid steel
negativity flees away
and I listen.
because your light comforts me
on restless days and chilling nights
I can say, with love,
you’re my hero.
Flower BedsIn the field of my mind
plump waxen roses
reflect Caribbean reefs
while swaying with the winds
of my passions.
I like to think someday
there will be marigolds
something more practical,
but for now my garden overflows
with roses, and all the thorns
how to stay sane in the real world1.
you don’t know who you are
not yet, or not well,
so keep a small book around,
for clues and for notes.
write when you’re frustrated,
sad, upset and uncertain
even when your words seem
in someone else’s voice,
and one day, when you read it
it will all blend together
and be yours.
remember your family DOES love you
forever, and true,
even if sometimes they hurt you
senseless with words
and you swear that they hate
the fact that you breathe.
real love makes you bleed
as it does make you fly,
and you must learn
to love right, in this way
all the time.
don’t panic, not ever,
even when anxieties
pump your blood to your mouth.
let your family
your lovers support you
but learn to trust yourself.
because while they give you strength,
you are your savior.
stay calm and your answers
will find you.
know that happiness
dusts the palms
of your hands.
I Love You So MuchI love you most in the late softness of the afternoon
when we feel like warriors breathing freely
after battle, working steadily
but relaxing, because we won the day
and we’re finally safe.
I love you most when we’re alone in a room
at a table, across from each other, when you’re working
and I’m working, and no words
I love you most when you smirk at me, when
I watch it gently curve into a smile,
one that ignites your intense dark eyes
with the warmth of colliding stars
before swallowing them into your skin.
I love you most when you show me your heart
when its nervous, passionate rhythm
beats under the palms of my hands,
like a jeweled light linking your lifeline to mine
I love you when you’re reserved, ridiculous
for your funny faces, your voice
and every power
I love you for all this
and infinitely more
I love you so much.
I Am Not a Winter FlowerMy status as any kind of winter blossom
was threatened when I soaked too long
in a molten, early spring sun.
As a child I had thought to ask someone,
“if blossoms take in too much sun
do they burn?”
Yes. Yes they do.
One warm, snowy night my roommate said,
“You are the bravest person I know.”
“You are also the strongest.”
Love and confusion warred in me
at the truth staring simply from her shadowed eyes.
How could that be? I’m crumbling here.
My ashen petals are littering the ground you walk on.
Somewhere Out ThereI want to get away from here
go somewhere new, somewhere big
where it’s still easy to lose yourself
but not in another person.
I’m tired of being the comfortable
small town girl, and I
don’t want that anymore,
don’t want to take
the easy way out anymore.
I want to take a different kind of chance,
want to move somewhere
where I know no one
and no one knows me,
where there’s no excuse to give up
no excuse to run away.
I’m so sick of loving others
more than myself, sick of it
never being enough, doing enough,
I’m sick of mechanic self indulgence
and of this constant heartache.
I want to rip it out of my own chest
and to make it burn alive.
I’m sick to death of feeling lonely
in crowded halls, on city streets,
sick of finding only hollow space
when touching loved ones,
between the words of books I read,
at the heart of everything I learn.
I’m sick to death of not understanding.
I want to understand.
DAMMIT, HELP ME UNDERSTAND.
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
now i see the stars.there was a time when i
couldn't catch my breath whenever i
thought about you , (crippled lungs and-
boy, you hit me like an asteroid,
there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,
oceans of my tears cried on
nights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.
thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,
i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,
for a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,
weighted to the ground and
buried in myself, but
where there is no light there are no shadows, and
sometimes, i wonder if i miss me.
yes, yes i do.
i may not see the moon, but
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
surgeryi promised not to scar
my skin. so i cut out my
brain and hurled it into
just like cancer, the worst of me is dead.
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
For KelseyMy dearest friend:
you’ve made me smile when I’ve never wanted to again
with full grins of your own that burst with glow like small planets
or Japanese lanterns, lit with incense for luck.
You know, I’ve overheated
to supernova at times, like when you sweetly took my hands
in yours and kissed me quick after a soft, slow dance
that you wrapped me into, eyes sparkling.
You’re always warm as the richest of local honey, blushing
and dripping off the ends of our tea spoons.
Thank you, darling,
for taking me into your soothing love so completely,
complementing me like lavender to hot water, even when
I’m difficult. Every woman should be so lucky
to come upon such a bright, bouncing star
in her ever open expanse of deep night sky.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More